It not just the direct lies its the stories and the elaborate effort he makes to hide his lies. She told me somethings my husband had promised her about our business, and became upset when I denounced that with the implication that with 15 years vested in the business everything she saw was what we not he had. Instead, either ask them to come to you or pay for a cab. Not only that i looked at his internet history and it has him searching a bunch of girls trying to find what websites they are on. I have been married for almost 3 yrs, been together for 5. Then I went to his office and conveniently his American Express bills were not in the files. Also, did you ask him about the texts? 3 more months went by and he popped the question and of course I said yes. But, I think you should listen to your family. I finally had enough after he got her to call my father in law to basically say I was crazy and they werent doing anything. And no amount of talking and making excuses will cover up the fact that we chose to stay with a spouse that cant be trusted. What is it for you? He won't admit it but I have plenty of circumstantial evidence that says otherwise (text msgs on phone bill & sketchy behaviors). I dont deserve to be treated this way. Act like you are even if you dont feel it yet. Not all women have girlfriends to talk to. You are worth more. Please get tested Good thing you don't have kids in case you want to cut your losses and move on. Now he and I are back together, and they are still friends, and she talks about the other guys she dates, and I could care less. just leave him. Received blow jobs from strangers at truck stops. I need help and dont know how to obtain it. YOURE WELL BEING DOES NOT DEPEND ON ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. I just recently went on my husbands app purchases and found multiple free text and calling apps that he has downloaded and a flirty emoji app that he had downloaded. My sister in law told me she posted somee pictures of the two of us on facebook so I went to go check them out. 7) The day after I found the photos, I told him I did not trust him. I used to ignore these signs but they are very good indicators. Easier said than done when you love someone. I thought I could trust her. After my divorce I swore off men for a while. Some of these people I have never met, not in 20 years. I also saw she hadnt responded to him. how they are hot, and how he wants to play with them. Am I the other woman? We been married for 10yrs . If he ask you how did you know just tell him you hired a private investigator or what even but again dont reveal your source even in your friend just keep this to your self. Heres an article that may help you see your marriage and your husband more clearly: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-do-you-know-if-he-really-loves-you/, Its called How to Know if He Really Loves You.. Well i confronted him with this affair after finding a msg he sent her about a romantic place and how he wishes she was with him. With her Facebook page full of selfies with her and other men. There is still a reasonable chance that your boyfriend is actually not cheating but i would look into it and MAKE SURE! The story just would match up. And a big time feminist(b/c shes Up With Woman). My wife thinks i am cheating but i have not. It sounds like youre already worried. He stared me in the eye but wouldnt. Hell keep cheating and lying until he decides to leave you. And he said no that he only wants to be with me but that I always ask the same thing and that one day I might push him to do it. He always has me do different things or tried new things on me. I use skype for videocalling mainly and with the people who really matter to me a whole world. Am contemplating ending the marriage. Today he tells me he cant stand to be with me, and it hurts more to hear that now that hes sober. If he is involved with someone the investigator will find out within the first week which means you wont have to shell out a lot of money. if he is really loves why is keeping for long? Be strong sweetie. So he stood and never really apolygized. Im not from a divorced family so i dont know what it feels like but I will say that my son is going to have alot of questions for his father when he does find out. When he came back I asked who was he talking with and he said the sister of someone we know well. This girl was married but when we went out he was always at work. I was devastated from losing my whole family! A piece of advice i know its hard to deal this kind of situation but you need to be more patient. Despite the fact that I have been cheated on in a relationship, I myself have actually never cheat on the person I was involved with. We have been together for 7 years and been married for 2 years+. I can say that though I do not know him, some times in every marraige it has its ups and downs. I dont believe him. It was almost like he was protecting her or their memory. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that was thrown in your face. It seems that the only way it will work out is if I never bring it up again and forget about it. It doesnt seem likely that theyd both make up this stuff, just for the fun of it. He said ok hell tell her, well,.. i check his phone a week later and theres a txt from him to her saying HIM: just saying hi HER Hey Miss u Now i am mad at this point, i questioned him yet again! SexyMom- Im very sorry that you are going thru this However, your question of whether or not things are real or fake is sort of ridiculous. My husband and I have been married for 9 months now and we have a 2 month old baby boy together. YOUR WELL BEING DOES NOT DEPEND ON HIM NOR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!! our first four years have been very challenging, we both drank alot and would argue alot, he never tried to get close to me emotionally, mentally,or physically. But before you do these try to search how it works, you need to be careful so he wont know. The more you wait, the less strong you will feel coming out of it. I have done everything in the world that I can think of to make him happy, Im a complete mess. I am sorry, Remy, and I can relate to your situation except mine was my husband of 30 years. That area in a marriage should always be up for discussion, never hid or kept secret like an affair because surprisingly some women may be opt to get more comfortable with your hobbies and of course others may not. He kept calling me telling me his sexual desire is at its peak and needs me back but i couldnt come coz i needed to finalize some business matters. My children had such an unpredictable childhood and the guilt and shame I feel now only adds to the pain this man has caused me. you will find what you need. they refer to each other as baby. I realized later my husband asked me to sign off in his emotional affair. It began in 2009. He says it was just curiosity of knowing how it felt to be with other women, but now he knows it was not worth it. Whether youve been married for a year or committed to each other for 20, its confusing and painful when trust starts to slip. I dont know if your husband is lying about cheating, but I do know that we can sabotage our marriages by being suspicious and jealous. i have been married for four years now, my husband cheated on me once.. things change now we worked it out.. but i notice hes always interested in online porn than me..he loves me n i love him very much i told him what is doing hurts me but he wont stop its like hes addicted to it please help!!! When you were in a hospital having HIS child, you had to beg him to be there. ? Thanks!:). He denied , so did she. They say it is simply over the kids, but I feel there is something more going on. If your husband isnt willing to work on your marriage, then it doesnt matter if hes cheating. Now, i dont mean to scare you even more.. what im saying is that you have to be aware of that and take in mind that this is not so far from reality as it may seem to you right now. When he messaged back saying, cant talk. He says he never touched this girl in NC but i was pretending to be him on istant messanger and she spilld the beans. (he is dead wrong) Im tired of being tired of being tired ,he causes so much stress .he tells me all the time that he does nothing to hurt me and to see the women on his viewed post nothing but bold face lies . He has cheated in the past, multiple times, before we were married. Should I have this baby and be stuck with him for the rest of my life or end it with him and the baby. I knew a couple that had the same issues. He didnt know about that! I asked if theyd had sex and he said it didnt work out, he couldnt get a hard on, no details He said he called her and told her not to call him anymore, but when I check the phone records he was still calling. He craved her like he was intoxicated . What should I do?!!!!! Is it unfortunate? Some times we mowan see it hard to decide of what we want in life, sorry to say that. Get what you can from whats left of the relationship and move on. BUT when I try to step in your shoes and assess your risk, your risk is and you state that you risk losing his friendship. Ive been selfish and I feel sorry for this women. Hello ladies I have been in my relationship for 6 yrs now and have two kids. You do need some help!! I was afraid to make wrong move just so he doesnt get angry or upset at me. Is this true that you dont feel safe with him, that you dont trust him? I do think a man would be crazy to give up a woman who offers what you suggest. I tell him what Id like, get it for about 2 weeks and then nothing from him until I nag at him or question him on why he isnt present in making this work. Thanks for the book suggestion! Are there any signs that he might be? Ive been through depression as i was beat severely by my father while going up. When my mom came home i told her, and, from may i have heard nothing but shouting,my dad tried to cut my mother veins, while she was sleeping he almost killed her so i took his computer and threw it out the window,help me i have bruises and am abused, and so is my mother, we finally move to Greece but her mind canot be taken away from jhim, she kepps leaving text meagges voice mail and other things , my dad says its my fault, i thing hes right, because if i didnt tell my mom, my mom would not be suffering, help im only 10 and i need help, please. We both are foreigners and it complicates things for our baby. There was a time when everyone just understood this as the evidence was all around them. I called both ladies and turns out he was having affairs with both women at the same time. Now while I was pregnant with our 3rd child, I didnt have an ounce of libido. They both apologized for not telling me. Amen. Writing to women who are victims of cheaters is like asking dog lovers if you can use one dog for a violent scene in a movie and try to justify why you are asking the question to dog lovers. I know how it can rock your world. He goes to bed. When I confronted him he told me you are going to believe her instead of me? Problem is, I can trust him, which will take time I know. I was and still am constantly wondering why he would do such a thing. Look at your part. I thought at the time, there was a good chance of an affair. I sent her a msg & ended it. I didnt see the big deal. Ive gone through fertility treatments and that is how Ive been able to get pregnant. Of course he is going to run to you as together you two do not have all the resposibilities of raising a family and day to day life. what now if I cannot get the truth? Money makes a man cheat I believe. I was in the store for about 15 minutes or so. Anyone who doubts what I have said should travel overseas, and you will change your mind. Im crying for you right now, because I wish someone would have warned me about what my life was going to be like if I stayed with him!! what should I do? When my husband finally left for work he forgot his phone. From June of last year to March of 2011, he lived and worked in a different city. But I now not sure because I saw his text (he has passcode but luckily it was unlocked) and he was talking about sex position with this girl and say he wanna try next time.as I think they were friend with benefits so before was long time a go or anytime near today? He says, if Im going to treat him like crap then hes not going to do anything for me. If you happen to be in the Muncie/Indiana area, and his name happens to be Donald then Hi!! Nothing short of traumatic head injury can (should?) Be prepared for lies, although if he wants to save his marriage, he should be prepared to tell you the whole truth. And when I confront him, he said its not true and he never sent any of those messages. Im thinking about leaving. For the most part, we get along great. He claims that they only had lunch and that if he ever did sleep with her or had taken their relationship to a physical level he would not continue our marriage. Also wrapping legs around leg of chair is a sign of restraint, of holding back, and not being honest. When i got back i felt something was wrong, like he had been cheating. We are created with that desire to have sex with different partners because in the endit makes stronger kids. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. Is it ok that he texts and calls her on a regular basis. Maybe few. My heart aches and all I have to show are tears. They say nothing happens, but the actions and lack of sex and emotions says it all! Do you think he met someone and has been having a fling, just based on that information? You need anything else or any other device or want to contact me just let me know. Remember, actions speak louder than words (assuming he is actually saying some nice things too) no matter what he might say, he does not want to be with you. Some wives have discovered their husbands were cheating after their husband passed away, which is why I wrote How to Forgive Your Husband for Cheating While He Was Alive. Married yound 3 kids married for 14 yearsanyway I found on his phone the backpage in the city where he was staying in the girl adult section. Could he have Aspergers Syndrome? Talking about his sex life, his past relationships and this is all with strangers. One more indepth than the other. What about you have you thought about talking to someone about how to cope with his cheating and lying? We have been together since 16 and 17, at 23 and 24 got married and never broke up, perfect relationship, we are now 12 years married and never slept with anybody else but each other or I thought he just told me he cheated on me when I had a miscarriage 10 years ago about the same time we were trying to have my daughter, he was just in a sex relationship so he says and other affairs without sex. We have been married for almost two years. Your not only my girl, your my best friend, partner and my everything He denied that it was him and blamed his brother but this Colombian girl said his name in the texts.. I will include a couple links to give you ideas. We were together about a year when he left. It bothered me that he did not mention this to me when we were introduced and I knew nothing of this woman the whole time we have been married. I imagined him pleasuring himself while on the phone with her, uninterrupted in the comfort of his hotel room where he lived for that year. When you said for better or for worse, you didnt expect your marriage to unfold this way, did you? I gave him a second chance after living in his car and finding his self alone he hasnt done it since. I KNOW there is something going on. I feel like if I ask for his password to check his Facebook he will immediately know what I want to look for and delete any evidence if there even is any. If you would like my email I will give it to you :), i found out that my dad was cheating on my mom,my dad took my coputer and hid it so i like wanted to go on facebook and then i saw a tab and my dad was talking to some pilipina. John. Im constantly being harrassed when I do go out. What do YOU think? I know that he isnt into romantic talk, but hes told me Im beautiful, and he loves my body, etc. But dont blow other things out of proportion that could have other explanations! If you really suspect him, you could consider following him. He was in another state, working and came home on the weekends. My prayer is that you rally the courage to find the answers that are in your gut, and that you become strong and wise enough to face what you know to be true before it causes more damage in your life. I found message from other women wishing him Happy Thanksgiving and I found message from women texting him her new #. I cant find one because I have an iPhone and he has an android. I still dont know if I can trust him though. Im very moody so my mood changes a lot and I disagree with her when she says something illogical. Thank you for being here, and sharing your experience of trust in your marriage. I did not think anything of if as I thought they were in one of the establishments looking at a job they would be doing. And he has his phone on him all the time, sometimes he leaves without telling me and his excuse is that his walking the dogs but when I call him while his walking the dogs it seems like his in the beach bathroom all the time (we live right next to the beach). We could ill afford to be without an income at any point, especially with 2 children, and the debt just got worse. He has told me about this girl but referred to her only as a work contact that hes trying to do a project with, and based on their texts they have seen each other a number of times that he didnt mention to me and their conversations are definitely not work related. Then why the heck is he looking at her? was your husband not responsible (money wise, or family wise)? Love is blind when all this time she cant figure it out..Half of my neighbors know he cheating because he brings women into the home when the wife is at work. How often do you two make love? When were telling the truth and are with people we like, admire, and trust, we face our belly buttons towards them. Talk, but hes told me you are going to believe her instead of me and feel. But the actions and lack of sex and emotions says it all the day after found. 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